Quotes

This page is dedicated to the many quotes about tipping. The quotes may be from movies, television, magazines or people we have spoken to.

This page is constantly evolving so feel free to add quotes to the comments section or send them in and I can add them to the page itself.

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George: So let me ask you a question about the tip jar. I had a little thing with the calzone guy this week. I go to drop a buck in the tip jar and just as I am about to drop it in he looks the other way. And then when I am leaving he gives me this look that says thanks for nothing. I mean if they don’t notice it what’s the point

Jerry: So you don’t make it a habit of giving to the blind.

George: Not bills.

Seinfeld, The Calzone

 

Woody: Dr. Crane says if I can get undressed a little at a time in a place where I feel safe and secure pretty soon I can get naked anywhere.

Sam: Makin’ progress huh Wood?

Woody: [now shirtless] You bet. I’m still scared, cold, and self-conscience. That’s all I’ll get out of it. But I did pick up an extra $50 in tips.

– Cheers, 50-50 Carla

 

Doorman – a genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

– D. Kilgallen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pete: So, first you thought he was illiterate and now you think he’s lazy? Liz, you ‘are’ racist.

Liz: No, Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is supposed to be used only for good, like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama.

– 30 Rock, Jack-Tor

 

Dwight: [After he didn’t tip the sub man] Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverise my own kidney stones.

– The Office, Michael’s Birthday

 

Mr. Pink: Fuck all that! I’m very sorry the government taxes their tips, that’s fucked up. That ain’t my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it, put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it, but what I won’t do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you’re givin’ me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin’ type, ’cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent you’re in for a big fuckin’ surprise.

– Reservoir Dogs

 

When we can’t get away for a vacation, we get the same feeling by staying home and tipping every person that smiles.

– Susie Spanos

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